Yea, it’s funny how things turn out. See today I was in the midst of my daily call with the wonderful person “Sings Many Songs” and we were talking about the amount of credits I had on the computer to write with and all that she has there already to publish on a week by week basis. She said she had a couple things “on deck” ready to go and I could just take time to think about my next “stroke of genius.” It occurred to me I never set out that way, I never think too hard about what is gonna find its way to the page after I have an idea or an “occurrence.” I just go ahead and get on it, letting it flesh itself out as it will or wants. Not by far would I ever claim to be a genius; hell my best ideas are maybe lucid and somewhat intelligent, but genius, I don’t see that.
Today I was able to get out to the bike again and one fact has made itself plainly clear, I will have to cut back on the distance from 10 miles a day to 5 miles; it’s just too darn hot and I ain’t gonna ride till I’m panting like an insane dog. I just have to accept the fact that I am at least doing something, even if it’s not a lot. Twenty five miles a week is a respectable amount for an old geezer like me. Smile. I’m happy with it and I’m gonna do all I can to keep it up, barring any lockdown, rec yard closings, or other delays or setbacks.
So there that is, but back to what I was talking about. Yea, I first started this at the coaxing of Sings after I was asked to write something for my brother Ghost. Writing down my story just kinda went from there taking a life and breath of its own and its gone from there to here. I believe that it has changed, meta morphed if you will. I also know that the heart and soul of it has never faltered. I’m trying to share who and what I am, how I feel, the recognition of the changes and evolution of my being. I’m trying to chronicle things that happen to me, how I feel about them and the impact of these feelings.
I think that the stories and things I share are as pure as they can be, I just sit down and “let it go,” not trying to win a Pulitzer, not even trying to get anything out of it, but writing about my experiences has already paid me the richest dividend I can think of. It has helped me share who I am and have become without having to face the world as I am doing it. See, I can always hit “save” and retreat to my cell where I know I’m all safe and sound, where I won’t have to face the things I write about.
On the flipside, I have been able to make someone proud of me as well, and the mere fact that she tells me this from time to time is like a balm to my soul; it lifts me and assures me that I do indeed matter, that I do indeed have relevance in this world and that I am capable of being a person to respect and care for. My decades of captivity and selfish ignorance have stripped me of a lot of these things. When I started these writings and this reaching out to you, my self-respect started to grow in the process.
Writing out my story was not my idea, Sings Many Songs is the one responsible for putting it out in a format that others can see, read and think about. If it wasn’t for her, none of this would have ever seen the light of day. Let’s face it, I was not the least motivated to share with anyone the truth of all I’ve been thru in my life and what I’ve put my family and all those in my life thru. I didn’t think there was a forgiveness or a healing or a way anyone would understand. I just kept on pushing along in my spirituality trying to immerse myself deeper and deeper into a spiritual existence and one of change and positivity. So there it is, but after all is said and done, it’s funny that the words just make their way here and what’s even funnier to me is that someone could care enough to read them, and of me.
All that’s left to say is, Thank You!!!
Editor’s Note: This piece was written before the recent lockdown Walks wrote about and I posted last week. The lockdown continues and as a result his whole bike-riding exercise regime crashed and burned. He sees no change anytime soon but isn’t too upset since the summer heat is far too oppressive for vigorous outdoor exercise.
Pardon me while I get side tracked – again. I’m trying to write about the personal process of preparing for release from prison, but having to deal with constant deviations from any kind of stable routine is par for the course. So I must ask the same old question: Why do they do the stuff they do?
This latest fiasco not only ticks me off, but it’s also something I just don’t get. See the entire prison has once again been placed back on red (severe operational modifications), and it looks as though this is all at the control of one man, the hospital administrator, who in fact doesn’t come from a medical background but rather a business administration. Never-the-less, they have 0 cases of inmates with Covid here, and only 3 staff have tested positive or reported the fact that they are out ill with Covid-like symptoms.
I do know that they allegedly base the reaction by this place and the “code” (red-severe operational modifications, yellow-moderate operational modifications, and green-no modifications to operations) by the percentage of reported hospital rates of Covid cases in the entire county. But this is ridiculous. See, we have been under the Covid restrictions since the pandemic began, and it has been one lockdown or loss of privilege after another, be it our activity or amount of freedom of movement.
I have seen more lockdowns and loss of privileges since this new warden got here and the pandemic mess ended than I have seen in 20 years. That’s the fact, so now we have been back on “red” for several days and the remedy they have instituted goes like this: Half of my unit is locked down for half the day, then the other half the day the other half of the unit is out and we are in the cells. But here’s the kicker, it is still ok for us to all be out and mixed together with no social distancing at least 3 times a day when they make us all walk over to the chow hall and get a styrofoam tray with a little bit of cold food in it, then walk back to the cell to eat it back on lockdown.
This saves them from actually having to just bring food carts to the unit and feed us themselves. (themselves being the lazy inept and usually worthless babysitters that they are, you know – the same ones responsible for all the contraband drugs and phones and tobacco that comes into the institution that all inmates, guilty or not, are always being punished for.) Anyway, so now it’s like this: We get up and are all let out together until they send us to get our trays to bring back. Then we are locked back down, but half of the unit is let back out for several hours while the other half of the unit is forced to endure lockdown conditions, that is of course till the next meal then they hurry up and unlock the other half so that they can push them out the door to go and get the next meal tray, then of course its lock back down.
As for recreation, well 3 times a week we are allowed to go outside to the recreation yard and be locked into a caged area by unit for 2 hours, and you never know where you will end up – the track area? the handball area? the outside tv area? So it’s really not at all worth the hassle. When you come back in after being out in the heat and sweating for 2 hours, you are sent right back into the cell with no shower, no pass go, and definitely no $200.00, unless you happen to be one of the staff members being paid your tax dollar to do absolutely nothing.
Needless to say I’m upset over all this charade. I don’t understand how this kind of foolish abuse can be tolerated, even promoted by the Bureau of Prisons. Of course I’m gonna try to keep from getting sick; I’m trying to keep my sugar levels in check but I’ve had 2 sugar crashes in the past 3 days. My situation only looks favorable in that I will be out soon and can try to regain the good strides I was making with the early morning exercise and diet improving my sugar levels. In the mean time I’ll be right here locked down kinda sorta just enough to keep me uncomfortable, and I’ll make sure to hide from the Covid that the staff is bringing into the institution, cuz it sure ain’t gettin in by jumpin the fence, and I damn sure ain’t been nowhere.
Someone once asked me, “So Walks, what are you going to do when you get out?” Man, what kind of question is that? I want to do everything I have been planning! I want to go back to school in order to get certified to counsel, but I really don’t know how much I will have to do or what it will take. I know my credentials are impeccable if you’re going on life experience but somehow I think there is more to it than just going out and applying for jobs as a substance abuse specialist or counselor or a juvenile counselor. I’ve got a feeling I’m going to be spending a lot of time in school or on the computer studying “on-line.” We will see. When I get home I’ll go out to the college where they will think I’m someone’s grampa.
I also want to get a new line of “rocks on a string” started. I want to do some religious jewelry like super nice rosary’s and nice necklaces with various crosses or religious pendants. I think there would be a market for them. So on that I will see as well. I was just telling “Sings Many Songs” on the phone earlier that I had an idea to put up flyers wherever they had a bulletin board, like in grocery stores, laundromats and such offering custom made birthstone jewelry and other jewelry. Heck, I might even try selling online in order to help me obtain a used car, maybe offer custom made one of a kind pieces of jewelry for every donation or a pair of free pearl earrings with every purchase over $20.00. Sounds like a pretty good idea to me, but I don’t know. I’ve been away for so long that I have no idea how the world works now.
And… I want to do all of these things:
I wanna go swimming and do a cannon ball. I know it sounds silly but hey, I wanna so I will and I know just the places to do it.
I wanna maybe join a band or just have some friends to jam with, I miss the music. I’m sure I could go to a church and sing my way into a choir or a gospel band but it’s not the same thing as good rockin’ music. Man, I’m gonna be in big boy heaven when I get that!
I know I want to go out somewhere for a meal and I long to hear some nice person ask, “May I take my order?”
I want a deep dish pizza with extra cheese, black olives, sausage and pepperoni.
I want an ice-cold glass of iced tea, no sugar, and I want to have more if I want more.
I want to be able to go to the Goodwill thrift store and buy clothes – anything but gray or khaki. lol.
I want to just be able to walk outside or sit outside and daydream, in freedom, without someone breathing down my neck to get inside or whatever.
I want to go to the library and get a library card, check out books, or listen to a book on tapes. I guess they are audio books, I’ve never done that, and I do so love a good story.
I want to go to the park and feed the ducks and maybe have a picnic there, even if it’s by myself.
I also think about taking my pipe to the park and having a pipe ceremony. I know I can do a pipe ceremony almost anywhere, but I like the idea of having one outside where the ancestors may have roamed. That would be amazing to me.
I want to see animals and maybe pet a dog or a cat. I love animals but outside of the occasional scruffy prison cat or the dope-sniffing K-9’s they bring in here, I never see one in real life.
One thing I think I will enjoy most of all is just the freedom to do what I want when I want to. If I want leftover pizza at 3am, I would be able to go to the refrigerator and have it.
And another thing, I wanna just sit with the door open, knowing I’m not being locked away from the world anymore unless I choose to close and lock the door.
If I want to walk around my own house in my boxers, I don’t want to have to feel uncomfortable for having done so.
So there it is, just a few things I think about that you probably take for granted; these things may sound silly to you but to me they mean freedom…
On Monday, May 23, 2022, 10 days ago the guards came in around 8am and screamed LOCK DOWN!!! So I did what I always try to do, fired off a burst e-mail to Sings Many Songs telling her we were being locked down so somebody will have a clue. I didn’t know the reason then but it turns out someone in another unit had an “episode” on K-2, a very dangerous synthetic drug, and management here went ballistic.
So the day progressed and they sent in the shakedown squad. Everyone in that particular unit was strip searched, then the guards ran them outside to the rec yard to sit in the cage and wait while they shook down the unit looking for whatever contraband they could find, drugs, phones, or whatever they deemed to be contraband in that moment. As I have seen so often in these past decades they change what they want to take from day to day. What’s cool to have today may be contraband tomorrow and they confiscate pretty much anything they want.
Anyway, they spent around 6 hours this particular day in this particular unit looking for whatever and keeping the entire prison locked down. Then the next day more of the same; the entire prison stays on lockdown while they hit another unit. Same old song and dance, every day another unit, then finally it’s Friday before a holiday weekend and they decide they didn’t have time to do my unit, Gamma A, so they kept the entire prison locked down all weekend including Monday, Memorial Day. This means we got no holiday meal, no anything, we all just sat in our cells for an extra 3 days. We barely got showers all week and nobody got to go to commissary to stock up on food and necessities.
I don’t want to sound like a whiney baby but damn, this corporal punishment crap gets really old and I have something to say about it. Treating men this way – punishing all for the actions of a few – is in no way conducive to rehabilitation, but then again, maybe that’s the point. We are not meant to be rehabilitated by these people! No matter what the BOP public information propaganda says, they do not want us to get out and succeed. After all, if that were to happen and recidivism was to cease, then these foolish, sadistic morons would soon find themselves unemployed and they wouldn’t be able to afford the luxuries they have become accustomed to living on your tax dollar.
I guess that also includes the whole world would be shock. See the thing is, the prison system (prison industrial complex) has become the largest industry supporting the economy in the country. Take a minute and think about all this massive system supports. Consider the multi-million-dollar food budgets and all the community services prisons support including doctors, hotels, postal workers and guards, etc. etc. The expenditures of the prison into the economy is a billion-dollar industry, and as long as no one is looking or questioning the way they treat the inmates or the “overtime” they’ve just got to have over a major shakedown they must have they are going to keep on keeping on with the charade. Pitiful, the most corrupt of all.
I can’t remember who said it but one note of truth that always stuck with me in relation to the actions of my keepers: POWER TENDS TO CORRUPT AND ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY. So think about that while I go to my cell and make sure my sacred pipe and eagle feather were not desecrated by these goons during this charade. As for me, I’m chillin’… absolutely….
As some folks may know, I cannot stand nor tolerate a bully. When I spot them or am confronted in any way with their behavior I tend to react, either with well-placed sarcasm or sometimes plain outright cursing. Yeah that’s a part of the culture in here, but never anymore do I resort to explosive violence. I’m not that man anymore; I don’t even like to feel threatened cuz I don’t want to see that side of me flash its ugly self. Basically I have found since I turned my life around that there are other ways to deal with situations than erupt, and the simple truth is, they usually take a lot less time to work.
Recently I went without lights in my cell for five days. On a Thursday and Friday I went to 9 different staff members to ask for them to get someone down here with the key to the breaker box to flip the breaker. I even spoke to two lieutenants, both of whom said they would have it taken care of. On Saturday morning I asked a staff member if it could be fixed and he went off on me.
In a rude, snarky voice he said, “The compound fixed it last night, I was here when he said he was going to do it.”
I told him that for whatever reason it never got done.
He argued, “Yes it did, you’re lying.”
So I said you know what, I live here. I think I would know. Anyway I’ll just use my booklight, so you just go ahead with this silly game. Have a nice day.
Now, I know he is the type of staff that thinks it’s his job to be abusive and disrespectful. In my 62 years have found there are always people who take every opportunity to pile on another person’s misery or bad situations. I suppose they do so to try to relieve their own inner turmoil, the fact that somewhere in their lives things are bad, really bad and somehow being a bully seems to relieve their pain.
I feel bad for them, really. I’m a big softy, I tear up at sad movies and there are certain commercials that I can’t even watch because they make me get all teary. It’s crazy, but I am the most sensitive person I know and I only became this way after I changed my life. I went for decades saying anything I wanted to anyone I wanted to, regardless of the hurt or pain my words caused. In truth, I was an ass.
My Mom used to say my mouth had no filter; I just blurted out whatever I thought. While there are still times I have no filter, I do have temperance now and have learned that its ok to think a lot of things if they are true, I just don’t have to say them out loud or be hurtful or crass. Now I’m for sure going to hear about this cuz most who know me are gonna go, “C’mon man, we know how you are.”
But I’m tellin you, I am finally learning how to just “think” things and not say them; seems like I get in a lot less trouble that way. All I really am setting out to convey here are the facts that I know you would think that these places will ruin any man, but I’m going to contest that thought, and furthermore, it took this life to bring me to where I am able to be a good man and to not be a selfish, egotistical psychopathic monster. I’m actually very caring and even kinda romantic.
I hate to see women cry cuz it makes me cry. The same with kids, man I can’t deal with a hurting kid; I just get sick inside. Maybe it’s because of all that I have been thru; maybe it’s because the Creator finally decided to bless me with some feelings and compassion, but the bottom line is, thru the decades of prison, the years in solitary confinement, the beatings at the hands of my keepers, the being strapped down to a concrete pad for days at a time, being forced to live with no water, and now this new wrinkle – no lights, I am still capable of feeling. Yeppers, no matter what’s been done to me, it didn’t create a monster that the Creator couldn’t un-make. I can still feel…still. and I am proud of this fact among others….still I can.
Chapter 25 – Insights on Activism: Connecting The Dots
By Ghost Dancer
As you have been reading to this point, I’d say most likely you have wondered why this Ghost person seems to be dragged from one bizarre situation to another. Why would government authorities single out this one individual? It’s not as though he is someone important or anything! Bear with me and I’ll try to explain so everyone can understand why I’ve been labeled as a violent criminal, a terrorist even, literally wearing a target on my back all these years.
Connecting The Dots
Now if you have been following this story of my life, think about these important points from the chapters:
1. Who influenced me as I grew up. (Ch. 2, 3, 12)
2. My education and how I learned (Ch. 6)
3. My religious beliefs and practices and the significance of these traditions to all Native Peoples. (Ch. 6)
4. Who mentored me in standing up for all our rights.(Ch. 12, 15, 17)
5. When did the abuses start? (Ch. 14)
From my earliest years I grew up knowing who and what I was.
Throughout my school years I truly did not fit into the standard learning structure. Rather I was given materials from many fields and disciplines to study. Most important for my life’s work, I studied business law, civil law, and international law.
As a youth, I was drawn to and mentored by those who started the American Indian Movement. My teachers were all prominent highly recognized spiritual leaders and I was inspired by all these amazing people to stand up for our human rights. (Ch. 12, 13)
Government agents saw me and photographed me with all these leaders I was learning from during the times I spent at Pine Ridge Reservation. I also witnessed the atrocities committed by government agents and their hired mercenary cronies on the innocent Native Peoples and I had visited the rez and seen the deplorable living conditions. This made a huge impression on me as a teenager. (Ch. 12, 13)
I came to fully understand how Native Peoples were the only group in America whose sacred traditions, languages, and ways of life had literally been made illegal to practice by the federal government. Why? Because it was always the goal of government to force Native People to assimilate by destroying their entire culture. Finally, in 1977 we won these rights in federal court from inside of prison and the Native American Religious Freedom Act was passed into federal law on Aug 11, 1978. (Ch. 15)
Once the government agents had identified me as the youth photographed with the spiritual elders at Pine Ridge they would be intent on getting me to answer their questions about everything I knew. From the time I was first arrested, I was beaten, tortured, drugged and convicted of crimes for refusing to give up information on A.I.M. members. This only made my commitment to stand up for my people stronger. The more they did to me, the more I would speak out. (Ch. 14, 15, 16, 17)
A.I.M. was considered a threat by the government and corporations that exploited and used Native lands for their own profit. Why? Because the goal of A.I.M. was to bring back the strength and values of Native heritage and teaching all who listened to the truth about standing up for what is written in the laws and treaties, and what changes we must fight for to get made into law to protect our traditions and our natural rights. (Ch. 13)
Understand this: A person who knows what their rights are, who knows the laws and how to use and invoke them, becomes a danger to all who live by suppressing your knowledge, rights, and everything you are entitled to.
Being drugged and beaten and sent to mental hospitals and jails only made me that much more determined to speak out. Yeah it made me mad, willing and ready to do whatever it took it get things changed. Our ancestors died fighting to protect our ways of life, traditions, languages, religious practices and history. It was only fitting that the younger generations stand up to fight for these things too.
A.I.M. was the catalyst that brought back these values to all of us and inspired us to wake up. It was a great spiritual awakening to our sacred circle being formed and healed once again. I will always be so thankful for all those who were the founders, leaders and spiritual teachers of A.I.M. who brought us all back to life and awakened us and shared their knowledge with us and inspired us to use what knowledge, skills and experience we had learned in life already. So even though it was hard for my family and loved ones to understand, the more they did to me made me that much more determined to win and speak out. (Ch. 13)
When in prison I taught these rights, laws, and how to use them to all who wished to hear and learn. Not only did we change the laws on Native Americans rights, but for prisoner rights as well. I was always active in pushing for changes in how prisoners are treated and even became a writer for prisoners’ religious rights, medical rights, living conditions and all.
I was active in getting people on the outside involved in writing letters to senators, congress people, even the United Nations, and others in foreign countries to support and rally for us. So the more people I got to raise their voices the more changes that would come into being. Naturally this challenge to the status quo singled me out to all the prison authorities and even to those in government, politics, and corporations. Just because they had me locked up did not silence my voice. (Ch. 24)
Look back to the beginning of this book and see what you read in Chapter 1 when I was speaking to the court at my sentencing about not silencing my voice. At that time I had many contacts, not only in the U.S. but in every country in the world speaking out and pushing for changes. Family members, loved ones and friends were contacting senators, congress people, directors and yes, even the courts.
If you checked the federal court records in Florida, Alabama, and Georgia, you would find so many cases that I filed. Every single prison I was ever locked up at, I filed against them to make changes. In the records of the Justice Department you will find records that I have filed complaint after complaint for all types of issues.
That determination did not change when I got out of prison. Every time I was free I never stopped teaching others to stand up and speak out for their rights, and how to learn the laws and their rights. Every time I saw or heard about an injustice I would begin standing up and organizing others to do the same thing.
During our fifteen months of sweet freedom, every time we traveled to reservations or to psychic shows or local festivals, flea markets, powwows, even schools, I would speak to others about their rights and how to invoke them. Cat and I were always searching, investigating, and looking for truth and justice in all our communities.
For instance we were concerned about the polluted waters caused by Monsanto Corporation illegally dumping into the waters of the gulf, rivers and creeks so we took water and soil samples to college professors for testing. Another incident involved a Native sister who had been illegally arrested and by invoking the Native American Free Exercise Act, we were able to get the charges against her dropped. We even took on Walmart directly for violations against the Indian Arts and Crafts Law of 1990. Once they became aware of the law, they immediately complied without a fight.
Another incident occurred at Florida Town State Park that highlights the over reach of government authority. We were there to meet with a college professor to give him soil and water samples and discuss issues of historically sacred sites being violated by corporations and federal, state, county and city governments. Cat was with the wolves while I was speaking with the college professor. Sheriff’s deputies and animal control personnel came and caused a scene trying to take the wolves into custody and charging Cat with violations. Cat hollered for me to come and I stood up to the deputies telling them they had no authority to act and neither did their animal control officers.
We had to go to court in Milton behind this. At first the court refused to allow me in the court room but Cat refused to proceed with the hearing unless I was allowed to be there and present the case. Sheriff’s deputies had me surrounded outside blocking me. Finally the Judge gave in and allowed me to come into the court room. Speaking to the court, I invoked our rights and even the rights of the wolves by presenting the laws that applied to us and to the wolves.
The county prosecutor had a fit but I simply handed him and the judge copies of the laws. First, the Native American Free Exercise of Religion Act of 1993 as it pertains to ceremonials and what is specified as being a spiritual leader doing sacred ceremonies. This established my authority to speak and give my point of view as a Native American. I also used the Florida State law pertaining to wild animals in state parks. A wolf is a wild animal therefore it cannot be considered a domesticated animal that would fall under the leash laws of the state. We argued that our wolves were not owned by anybody; they were not pets they were people who chose to stay with us. Since we did not own them and they were made by the Creator, then the wolves had access rights to the park just as the squirrels and birds and every other wild animal in the park.
Now picture this in your mind: the court room is packed with other people waiting for their cases to be heard and here is a man and woman who clearly are not lawyers and not dressed as any of them, fighting their case in court against the system and standing up for what is right. And we won! The judge had no choice but to rule in our favor and dismiss all charges and complaints against Cat and the wolves as well.
Now one thing these kinds of people don’t like is someone who is not intimidated or afraid of them. They use their positions of authority and think they have the right to treat you any which way. If you do not comply to their every whim they use threats of violence with their numbers and weapons. The very worst thing anyone can do to get me riled up is the act of trying to threaten me or someone I love or care about.
Pulling a weapon on me or you is not legal. Understand your rights: No one, especially law officers, has any legal authority to threaten you with violence! Read your Constitutional rights. We were not under arrest, we had not committed any act of violence nor were we threatening them or anyone else, so they did not have the right to threaten us with anything. Now here I was at this sacred Native site making a big incident there in the park. People gathered around listening to what I was saying and Cat was saying and then the college professor. This got the crowd all involved and they knew the truth when they heard it.
This incidence shows how important it is to make sure people understand how the Native point of view can come in conflict with conventional ideas but still they must be honored and taken into account in every situation. People must understand how we think, especially how I think because I have always used the law. I learned to use the law because this is what was stressed by my mentors; we had to work within the laws and if there wasn’t a law for it then we must push to get a law passed that would give us the protections we need.
Native people have learned through history that we could not win by force or standing up and fighting physically. But there are many ways to fight so I took all that I was taught and all that I was shown and guided to do and that’s what it has come down to; this is my way of fighting now. My spirit totems are the Eagle and the Wolf. Both live inside of me and are so much a part of me. They live by these laws and so do I.
Here is where the legal knowledge I learned in my youth came into play. Having learned and studied the laws that protect us all under the constitution and how to use it, teaching others how to apply these laws to secure our rights became and still is a high priority. Throughout my times of freedom and when imprisoned, I have never stopped pushing for my own and all of our human rights. My voice will never be silenced no matter what they do to me. JUSTICE MUST BE JUST AND DEMANDED EQUALLY FOR ALL.
Reflection…
Now with all this in mind please stop and think. If you could do something that would make real changes to help your people and yourself would you do it? Even if you knew that you would suffer? Even if it meant that your family, loved ones and all your friends would suffer too? What if Spirit spoke to you and showed you terrible things that would be done to you if you went down this path, would you do it? And if Spirit told you that this is your path but you must chose to walk it or not? Well, I did choose to follow this path. I never thought it would be such nonstop suffering but it was worth it. Why? Because the actions I took DID change the way all Native Peoples were being denied basic human rights and their inherited traditional ways of life and it made things better for all peoples and all life.
I never did any of this alone. Many, so very many, others chose this path too. Our ancestors walked with us and inspired us and we always walked with Spirit. The more people choose to learn their rights and gain knowledge of how to use the laws and stand up for their rights, the easier it becomes. It is easy to silence a single voice; it is lot harder to silence many, and more and more. I am only as a small grain in an avalanche; a mountain of sand, all the people who stood up and pushed for changes and still do.
I’m nobody special, just a person who was guided by my heart and Spirit to stand up and do what needed to be done. All credit should be given to Spirit and the leaders that Spirit inspired, all the spiritual leaders. A.I.M. leaders and all those voices lifted up together to demand changes. We were taught in life that knowledge shared is always best. I learned real quick that most folks have no clue about what their real true rights even are and if people don’t know what they are entitled to, they wouldn’t complain or want anything more. Even now after all I have been thru here I am sharing with all who will read the story of my life, still sharing the truth of the criminal justice system, about all the lies, corruption, deceit and illegal acts that are a part of the way they get rid of people like me to silence them.
“But Ghost,” some say, “Aren’t you afraid speaking up will get you in trouble again?” Yes I’m risking my freedom, my life once again just in exposing all of this to you. But I refuse to live in fear and most surely I’m still compelled to follow my heart and follow the path that Spirit has given me to live. I only want the truth out there and to help you all learn your rights as well as the true history, ways of life, religious practices, and culture of all Native Peoples, especially those of Southeastern Native heritage.
Observation and Challenge…
Even in today’s society the majority of the people have no clue about what their rights really are much less how to use the law to secure them. For example, most folks do not know the true meaning of freedom. How does the dictionary even define the word? Now read your First Amendment thru Fourteenth Amendment rights. Once you know the full meaning of these rights stop and ask if this applies to you and empowers you. It should! You should stop and think of ways to show how it effects and applies to you in every way of everyday of your life.
Knowledge is power. The majority of the government, politicians, corporations, and those in power because of their fortunes and positions of influence all have one great fear. That fear is for you to know your rights and how to stand up for them. And when you go out and teach others this and speak on these things you now become a terrible threat to them, their power, control and corruption over you and others.
What almost everyone, especially those in law enforcement, justice system, politics, and government forget is this that they work for you! They are there to protect you, your property, your rights and the laws. They are employed by you and serve you. They do not have the right to threaten, disrespect, intimidate, or violate any of your rights or break any laws, policies, code of ethics, behavior or anything. And even though it seems the majority of society has forgotten, this is still true and the same laws and rights protect you now.
Remember this, the Constitution First Amendment forbids and clearly states that no law or policy can be made which would violate your rights. So no authority can be given to anyone, law enforcement personnel, politician, judge, court, or anyone that takes these rights from you. Yet each and every day these individuals all violate the laws and no one is standing up and demanding they stop doing these criminal acts of violating every citizen’s rights. There is no “interpretation” of the constitution or it’s amendments. That is only a farce to misled you from the truth of your rights and they can only do it if you let them.
What I’m saying about knowing your rights and invoking them really applies to everybody. The majority of the population doesn’t understand exactly what their rights are. Most folks don’t even care that their rights are being violated and they are not getting all they are entitled to. Why? Because they don’t want any trouble and they don’t want to have to do anything. They are too busy just trying to survive.
People walk around blindly ignoring oppression happening to others as well. They just don’t want to get involved or they are too scared of what would happen to them. I will go so far as to give my opinion that today, in this present time, people live here in the U.S. under the same mentality and behaviors that were the norm during the Dark Ages and the Inquisition when people were living in fear of their lords, aristocrats, emperors or kings. Today people live in ignorance and blind obedience to whatever is fed to them by those in authority that they must live by.
I say you are a human being. You were born free and you have rights to live in freedom. You have the right to believe however you want. You have the right to choose what you want to do in life so long as you do not infringe on the rights of others. And you have the right not to be dictated to by anyone else, especially the government or politicians or corporations or such.
In today’s society people have allowed themselves to be manipulated for too long and have gotten used to subtle changes being made by courts, judges, law enforcement, politicians and government. No one has spoken up so it has become common place for ever more protections within the constitution and amendments to be broken and rights given away without a fight. This is done slowly and too often intentionally by those you have entrusted to protect these rights for you!
Words of humility and love…
Remember, you must know who you are, what you are, and what are you to become before you can truly find your power and worth. We are all created by the same Creator no matter what name you use to identify our Creator. We are all related and connected no matter if you realize or understand this concept or not. The Laws of our Creator are very simple and very easy to live by if you truly choose to do so. Yes we are all tested by our faiths, commitments, discipline and even by our own minds, hearts, and things around us. It is these very tests that make us or breaks us.
I would never want to stand before our Creator and have to explain why I failed to act, speak up or use my knowledge and gifts to stand up for what is right, what is just, what is the truth to help all my relations (all of life) and follow where Spirit has led me.
This makes me think back in history to all those who have gone thru the same persecutions, inquisitions, torments, sufferings, imprisonments, and yes, even deaths for speaking up for what is right, yet the majority of society has learned nothing from history. Too many still live in darkness, blinded by their own ignorance. As I learned a long time ago, all pain and suffering comes from ignorance.
Every single person who has believed in me and what I have done, who has helped me and others, who have been there for us in any way, all have been persecuted in some way, not only by those of their own families and friends, but by society. I wish to thank each and every one who has stood by us, loved us, befriended us, helped us. I know you all have suffered because of following your hearts and listening to Spirit that has guided you also. Is anyone of us perfect? No! We all make mistakes and even wish we could do most things over again. Don’t worry you’ll get that chance in another life. So be careful what you wish for.
I pray these insights into the struggles of Native American political activism and my personal reflections help to connect the dots and explain why Special Agent Tierney felt compelled to say in 1995: “Well, Ghost you do know that I’m sick of putting you away and they keep letting you back out. So you know what? This time I will make sure you never ever get free again.”
On May 11, 1995, after a little more than a month of leisurely travels in our motorhome with our wolves and towing Cat’s car, I was arrested at the border as we attempted to cross into Alaska.
Once I arrived in Fairbanks, I was provided a Native American lawyer. This is required under Alaska laws so that Native Americans get someone who truly understands and does their best to protect them and their rights. Also under Alaskan laws, tribal elders and leaders are allowed to come visit every day. This happened for me immediately and the elders made sure I had everything I needed or was allowed to have. I was kept in isolation until the elders and tribal leaders demanded that I be placed in population with the other native prisoners.
My lawyer, Retta Ray Randle, was very good and represented me well when I had my hearing in federal court. The U.S. Attorney stated that there was a warrant out for me as John Doe #3 suspect in the Oklahoma City bombing. The judge or magistrate threw out the warrant and told the U.S. attorney that it was no good, that there is no way I could possibly even remotely have been able to be in that area much less involved because he already knew how I was arrested, where and the reports on my travels.
The U.S. Attorney told the judge that Washington, D.C. would be issuing a new warrant and that U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno would be issuing a mandatory emergency transfer to bring me back state side. The judge told him they had better do a better job of charging me with something that is plausible because this charge is ridiculous.
I was taken back to jail and Cat was allowed to visit me. They had me chained by one leg and one hand to the floor and ceiling and we visited thru plexiglass talking on a telephone. The next day they took DNA samples from me, used infrared lights and black lights checking for explosives residue. Everything came back negative. Cat was allowed to visit me every day for a few days before I was transferred.
Now since Janet Reno issued the mandated transfer under the power of the Attorney General’s office I would be leaving soon. The judge had me brought back to court and explained that it was now out of his hands but he wished me the best and made a court order stating: It is hereby ordered that no one is allowed to question this man without the presence of his attorney. No one should even attempt to question while he is being transported or held in any detention. This is to ensure that his rights are protected and that no claim of any statement can be made by any over-zealous agent or officer. He then wished me the best of luck in being cleared of all this nonsense.
The next day I was taken to the airport and made to wait on the runway in snow and ice with a Windchill far below zero. I stood there for more than an hour wearing only a t-shirt, slippers and a thin pair of khaki pants with planes coming and going blowing the snow and ice all over me. Legged shackled, belly chained, cuffed and black boxed, I was loaded into the cargo hold of a small Cessna airplane. The Cessna did not have a pressurized cargo hold with oxygen. The agents had oxygen but not me so I surely would be tested flying like this with no oxygen.
This was a very rough journey with heavy wind turbulence and air pockets. I was tossed and beaten up by all the bouncing and ups and downs. My nose began bleeding profusely from the altitude and lack of oxygen. My ears felt like thy were bursting and my body went thru pure contortions. Finally the plane landed at Cook’s Inlet and I was taken to the jail in Anchorage. I stayed there for a few days and then was flown to Seattle, Washington with stops in several Alaskan ports to refuel. There I was taken to a federal facility called Sea Tech. Later I was flown to Florence, Colorado and placed in solitary confinement at the maximum security prison there while waiting to be transferred on to Oklahoma.
Finally I arrived in Oklahoma and was taken before agents there who showed me to several different people to determine if they could identify me. Again my DNA and the swab test for explosives residue all came back negative and my finger prints did not match. I was taken to the federal courthouse where a public defender and two U.S. attorneys were waiting to speak with me. They had the public defender talk to me first and he said they are aware that nothing adds up to me being involved in anyway whatsoever, but they would like to ask me questions. I asked why and he said there were questions that I may be involved in other crimes that involved supplying weapons to militia groups in Montana and Arizona. They put me on video so people in Montana and Arizona could look at me for possible identification. That possible charge was also dropped that day.
I asked to be released but they said there was a call from Washington, D.C. that I be held now on a fugitive warrant. I asked on what charge and was told I was under suspicion of a crime. I asked what the crime was but never given an answer. I was then taken to Texas, and people viewed me there. Still no one said that I was the wanted person and no evidence matched me. Then I was taken next to Tallahassee, Florida. Once again there was no warrant and I was not charged with any crime. At the federal court in Tallahassee, I asked to be released once again and was told now I was being held until another person came. Once again I was viewed but was not identified.
It was now late in the day, and low and behold who walks in the detention area but an old acquaintance from the past, someone who truly hated me. Someone whose passion was going after and persecuting Native Americans, most especially members of A.I.M. (American Indian Movement). His name was Joseph Tierney. He was an FBI Special Agent and a man known far and wide as a person who would do anything and get others to say anything as long as it got a Native placed in prison. He didn’t care what laws he broke or who he threatened or even if you were innocent. If you were Native American and associated in anyway with A.I.M. then he would do whatever he had to do to get rid of you.
As a point of reference, understand this: Joseph Tierney had been working directly with Agent Larry T. Lucky, an ATF agent who came to see me in 1975 when I was first arrested and jailed in Cullman, Alabama. (Ch 14). Tierney was also behind another FBI agent, Larry Gerard, who was supposedly the brother of Sandy, the woman I was forced to marry. (Ch 15) Gerard was dark complected and worked undercover, using the aliases A-rab or Indian Boy. Gerard attempted to infiltrate the A.I.M. gathering at Pine Ridge but was never allowed among the spiritual leaders and never knew who I was. Tierney was also there in an official capacity as an FBI agent investigating the corruption on the reservation. He tried to butter up the people by telling them he was Native but they never trusted him. All three of these federal agents were personally responsible for putting me in prison every time, both in Alabama and in Florida. All along, Joseph Tierney had been the superior officer ordering these others to do what needed to be done.
When he walked in, I saw Tierney looking heavily and hard at me. He talked to the U.S. Marshals and in a short time I was once again being chained up and this time placed in an SUV with blackened out windows and security bars and screen. Not one word was said about where they were taking me even when I asked them. They never spoke to me. They took secondary roads for about an hour or more. When I asked them again where they were taking me this time they said I’d find out when I got there. Finally we pulled into a jail sally port. I found out later that I was in Panama City, Florida. Here I was placed in a tiny room and later three men entered. One was Joseph Tierney. He was just as sadistic looking as always.
One of the other men said that he needed me to allow them to take DNA samples from me. I reminded them that I was under a federal court order not to speak to any of them until and unless my attorney was present. They ignored me. I refused to let them take DNA. Others had already done this two times since I was first arrested so this time I told them to get a federal court order. They kept trying to question me about all kinds of things. Repeatedly I invoked my rights to have an attorney present and my right to remain silent. Finally Tierney told them they didn’t need anything, that they already have my DNA from other places and they could request it be sent to them.
Then Tierney looked at me and the words he spoke have been forever branded in my memory:
Well, Ghost you do know that I'm sick of putting you away and they keep letting you back out. So you know what? This time I will make sure you never ever get free again. You know me, I can do anything I want. No one is going to believe you or anyone connected to you. You are a convicted felon and you are nothing but a headache to a lot of people. We are tired of you and tired of you causing problems. It is over this time. I will find those who will help me do this and say whatever I tell them to say. You are finished being an aggravation to all of us. When are you going to get it in your head that we already defeated you people? You shouldn't be alive and I would never have believed you could still have lived after we sent you to prison in Alabama.Those good old boys promised me you would never get out and here you are again. Don't worry, this time you will never get free. You will die in prison this time. I guarantee it.
The next day, June 7, 1995 I was taken to federal court and before a U.S. magistrate. The magistrate asked Tierney why there was no indictment or anything on me. Tierney told the magistrate that he had been busy but he would be getting on it. The Assistant U.S. Attorney told the judge it would take at least a week before he could get a grand jury to sit for a hearing. So the judge gave them two weeks to come up with an indictment. I asked for a bond. The government objected claiming I was a flight risk and considered to be a very violent man. The judge denied my request.
Two more weeks would pass before the grand jury convened and I was officially charged. Joseph Tierney had no qualms about lying to the grand jury and the U.S. Attorney did nothing to stop him.
People might not remember this now but in late April and early May 1995 all the newspapers and TV news reports were filled with stories about the Oklahoma City bombing. During this time there were both print and network TV reports about the search for John Doe #3 as one of the suspects. Even though these news reports did not mention me by name they gave very specific details about this “person of interest.” He was said to have been a Native American who was former military, lived in Florida, had recently made numerous trips to Oklahoma and was currently in Canada. Later on, news reports after my trial included mention that I had been a suspect in the Oklahoma City bombing.
FBI Agent Joseph Tierney knew from my parole records that I had traveled several times to Oklahoma to visit friends, family, spiritual leaders and tribal leaders. He also knew that I had permission to travel to Canada and that I was an honorably/medically discharged veteran. His biased hatred towards me and any member of A.I.M. or association with A.I.M. drove him to become obsessed with doing anything or saying anything to get what he wanted done. Despite the fact that I had absolutely nothing to do with the Oklahoma City bombing or any of the other incidents, the damage to my character and credibility was done. Even the label “terrorist” would remain on my record.
See, those in positions of power in all levels of government use propaganda, a process as ancient as the human urge for power and control, to turn friends, acquaintances, and the public against anyone who goes against the system, the desires of those in power, wealth, majority, authority. By making statements like this they can successfully cause anyone who calls you friend, family or acquaintance to deny you, stay away from you, or turn against you lest they be persecuted by everyone too.
In the United States the government has used this false media reporting technique for centuries to turn the public against anyone they wish to get rid of or to discredit them from anyone listening to what they have to say. To destroy a person’s reputation is a key factor in destroying the person’s character. This is the main battle. After that they can do whatever they want and nobody will care whatsoever. People will believe what lies have been told and it becomes all too easy to convict this person and throw away any chance for true justice.
Ever since my parole, Cat and I had been busy building up our reputations and our character. We had made lots of friends in all walks of life. Everywhere we went. people truly liked us, respected and loved us. This is why they did this to me for without destroying our names and causing people to turn away it would have made it a lot harder for them to ever get a conviction.
The propaganda did in fact work on many people, some of whom were our friends and even a few family members. Anyone who spoke up for us became a target to be ridiculed, put down and viciously attacked. Some till this day still believe the lies and will have nothing to do with us, even blame us for their own problems.
Such character assassination effectively destroys everything any reformer or activist says or tries to get done. I wanted to explain all this so you can stop and think about everything you have read to date about my past history and even today, how easily someone gets labeled and ridiculed as being crazy, insane, violent, a monster, a terrorist, an enemy.
~~~
Editor’s Note: Ghost Dancer is currently in the process of undergoing several urgently needed corrective surgeries and will need to put his writing on hold for a while. He thanks everyone who has come this far with him and promises to be back to tell “the rest of the story” just as soon as he is able to sit at the computer and type. We will also be making some changes, additions and updates to the present chapters. Thank you for your patience, love and support.
Would you like to know Ghost better, see what he’s been doing since he was released from prison or follow his recovery progress? You are welcome to request membership in his Facebook group page: Ghost Dancer & Friends.
Man, who would have thought that I’m doing as good with the exercise program as I am. When I started on the bikes it was a mile, which then became two miles. Then it was for the duration of an 8-9 minute song off my mp3 player which put me around the 2.5 mile mark. Then one day I forgot my tune machine and got a wild hair to just get on and ride. I did 3 miles and continued that for a week. Then my curiosity kicked in, “I wonder if I could” and I took my first 5-mile ride. Not all at once, first I did 2.5 miles then took a minute standing rest then another 2.5. That was so cool, damn! I rode for 5 miles so I did that a week.
Now, for whatever reason these people did not have an inbound move back to the housing unit after an hour, (moves back and forth from recreation to the units are usually on the hour, 5 minute outbound-then 5 minute inbound) so I said to heck with this just sitting around and went back to the bike. This is when I did my second 5 mile ride! WOW, it was amazing, I had just ridden 10 miles, and was still able to walk and breathe! All this time I had been thinking I never could achieve that. So I continued this until one day I rode 5 miles straight out, no break – 5 miles in 20:11, then took a standing break of 2 minutes to shock the muscles and drive more lactic acid into them, then did the second half, another 5 miles straight out, but I beat my previous time with 5 miles in 19:47!
This to me was amazing as well as an “A-ha” moment. I’m on to something here, cuz what I haven’t said so far is that from the time I first started to ride the bikes, my sugar levels were changing, going down. I have been on insulin for more than a year, and had recently been struggling with my glucose levels, so these people have been throwing more and more insulin at the problem, but the whole time all that was needed was for me to get off my butt and do some good cardio, nothing crazy but something. Now I’m steadily doing better and better with what I eat and what I do on the bike.
This tells me I can get off insulin, and I AM going to get off it! Maybe it won’t be in here where our food options are so poor. I’ve just got to get out where I can actually do the dietary things I know will be needed as well as the exercise that I have come to love. Already I’m sleeping better, I’m more energetic and my glucose levels are lower. I know why, and what to do to make it even better and I will get off the insulin! This is just another one of those things that I look forward to doing. I’m a firm believer in the precept that if something works then use it, don’t mess with it, and thank the Creator for the knowledge and opportunities that will get it done. Smile.
Now looking back at my life, it’s crazy because I worked out for years. I have never been a small man, but I have always been muscular and “thick” you might say. Guess it’s just the genetic make-up that comes in my tree, so to have allowed myself to get to the point that I need insulin is crazy. For almost all my life I suffered with dangerously low blood sugar levels, so low that I would have difficulty and have passed out from hypoglycemia before. Once I told the pill line nurse, “I don’t feel so good.” She tested me and my blood sugar level was 33. This is called “insulin induced hypoglycemia” where your pancreas produces way too much insulin, so I was constantly craving sweets. I could eat sweets by the handful and the sugar didn’t make me crazy.
There was a time I remember when Bab, my sister-in-law, looked at me and said that was the reason I raided her pantry. Every time I went to her house I’d head for the pantry where they kept the good stuff, the sweets. Sorry, Bab…sheepish smile. Now I even look at something sweet and my sugar goes thru the roof. I was warned by a doctor in 2005 that I would eventually go thru what he called “the flip” where my pancreas just quit producing and I would have to have insulin. Well, the doctor was half right, I need the insulin now, but I’m going to do my best to get myself off of it. It will take a lot of physical exercise and strict diet, but trust me, I will do it! I’m determined and we all know how I can be when I get something in my mind. I told Sings Many Songs I would be off insulin in one year from my release. That’s my goal, so if you see me eating ice cream, it’ll be a cheat day or diet ice cream and if there is no such thing then somebody had better get on the job and invent it cuz I LOVE ICE CREAM!!!!!!!
PS… As of publication date, my bike time is up to 10 miles non-stop 5 days/week… So that means 50 miles per week! Yay! Go Team Walks!
EPD: Now I know that at some point Ghost got word that he was about to be arrested and that may be when you went to Canada… Neither of you has mentioned that.
CAT: I’m having trouble finding the words to express myself. Yes, it’s an awesome story there too.
EPD: I don’t really know any details except that they took him away and you had to find your way back home with the wolves.
CAT: That is another story, yes!
EPD: Yep, thought so… we’ll save that one for later….
CAT: I have to tell you on my way back I broke down in the middle of nowhere in Alaska.
EPD: ALASKA? Were you two in Alaska when Ghost was arrested?
CAT: Yes, near Alaska. [at the border] They took him to Fairbanks. After they arrested him I went on into Alaska alone.
EPD: OH MY GOSH…. I know this isn’t funny, but you know that TRUTH is far more interesting than FICTION! And this is a whopper.
CAT: I stayed in the parking lot of Alaskaland, a theme park in Fairbanks. A nice security guard helped me; let me hang out with him in his security booth and let me shower in the showers next to the stage where people perform and sing. Anyway that’s another story.
EPD: Indeed it is…
CAT: I had told him what happened and he felt so bad for us.
EPD: And you drove all the way back to Florida in that old truck all by yourself?
CAT: I drove back by myself with the wolves. Took me 6 days.
EPD: ONLY 6 days?
CAT: It normally takes 10 days. I drove straight thru; stopped where the truckers were on the side of the road and slept an hour and went on again.
EPD: Just driving clear across the continental US like that is amazing all by itself.
CAT: I wish I had kept a diary. It was very emotional; I cried off and on all the way home but was strong too.
EPD: YOU absolutely AMAZE me!
CAT: I never got lost. I hung out there in Alaska so I could visit Ghost there in jail. It’s quite a story. It was an adventure!
EPD: Through some of the most isolated rugged country …
CAT: Not as bad as you think.
EPD: I’m falling out of my chair in amazement.
CAT: On the way back I was in the Snowy Mountains. I wondered if I needed snow chains on my tires, but I got thru it just fine. Then when I got down to the bottom of the mountain there was no snow. A different world! Something told me I’m gonna wish I wrote a diary on my way back.
EPD: Don’t even try to tell it now… just think about it and let the memories come back to you…
CAT: I had to stop in the middle of nowhere in the world to sleep. So the safest place was I would find a couple truckers on the side of the road and I would sleep there then go again.
EPD: Did the wolves ride in the cab with you? And did you have trouble managing them?
CAT: They got car sick after a while. I did fine with them they kept me company.
EPD: What did you feed them?
CAT: Canned dog food. I fed them with a spoon like a human.
EPD: I remember that story about teaching them table manners. LOL
CAT: Yep they were very good eating from a spoon. I didn’t have a doggy bowl.
EPD: And what did you eat on this trip?
CAT: I don’t know what I ate. Good question.
EPD: And did you ever run out of gas?
CAT: No, I made sure I had gas.
EPD: Just looked up the distance between Fairbanks and Pensacola – 4,300 miles!
You have blown my mind girl…
CAT: I blew my friend’s minds; they were amazed I never got lost. I cried off and on all the way back home. The only thing that helped me thru and cheered me up is when Shunka made funny faces in the wind.
EPD: I would never, ever have the courage and gumption for survival that you had!
CAT: When you are alone you have to do what you have to do. I never got lost one time I can’t believe it. I followed the map, kept glued to it.
EPD: Do you remember about when you two left to go up there and how long before Ghost was arrested.
CAT: No, I will have to meditate. See this is the first time I have talked about it in years. I tried not to think about any of it cause it was so tragic losing Ghost the way I did. I went into a horrible depression. I tried to forget everything; the memories so I could pull myself out of depression. I blocked most everything out. It was so hard.
This is when Ghost and I decided to let each other go. I prayed about it, asking if I should let Ghost go. See I was a very loyal type woman. I kept him in my life how can I desert him after what happened to him.
Anyway, after I ended my prayer I heard a voice and looked around. No one was there; the voice said let him go. I felt a weight lift off me; I felt relief. It was a voice of the Great Spirit. Never had I experienced this before. The spirit wanted me to let him go, but it was because I was dying inside. I can’t explain it.
EPD: The future looked so hopeless then… a normal reaction… And it was all so unfair…
CAT: I was young and knew he was going to be in there the rest of his life. They were not going to leave him alone.
EPD: What you were suffering was just as much PTSD as what he suffered. We have a name for it now.
CAT: Where you have flash backs?
EPD: And you are now working through the process of healing…
CAT: Yes, it’s been very painful to talk about even with you.
EPD: All people who suffer traumatic experiences go through all this…
CAT: At first it was painful, but I’m feeling a little better.
EPD: Soldiers in war, people who are tortured or raped, people who experience all that you experienced… working so hard for so long and then have the rug ripped from under your feet…
CAT: Yes!
EPD: You are healing that pain little by little…
CAT: Ghost and I always said Ghost was RIPPED from me!
EPD: And I am SO PROUD OF YOU. BOTH OF YOU…
CAT: Ripped from a life together we dreamed of for 11 years I waited for him.
EPD: Yes! But Spirit is not finished with this story yet…
CAT: Thank you.
EPD: Spirit needs you to be proud of all you have endured… never feel shame… and work to help finish this story as one of the triumph of LOVE and justice. YOU must OWN your story!
CAT: Ghost wanted to let me go because he saw what it was doing to me. I would not let him go. I could not. Then it took its toll on me; that’s when I prayed about it.
EPD: Tragic though it may be, it is your life story and it has not all been in vain.
LOVE TRIUMPHS OVER ALL ADVERSITY!
CAT: Amazing the people who crossed my path along the way. An old man let me stay at his place. He used to be the Chief of a tribe. I met him at the flea market. He was an amazing carver/artist; best I’ve ever seen…Just amazing the people who were put in my path.
EPD: Yes, that is enough for today… Will you start gathering your memories of all this?
Cat Dancing – Travel adventures
CAT: When Ghost and I were together at a psychic show he was doing, this man gave me one sample reading. I never forgot it. He said, I see a pen; you will be writing a book someday. Well books are hard; I don’t think I can do that. Perhaps if Ghost got out we could do that.
EPD TO GHOST: Well another day gone, and Cat really outdid herself relating her memories… She got off on talking about your adventures in BC and Alaska… Now, as she said, that is another whole story, but she told me enough to make my jaw hit the ground. I asked her to think about what actress she wanted to play her in this amazing movie of your lives. True life is always better than fiction. She said when you get out, she wants the two of you to write a book together about your amazing story. I know of a “ghost” writer/editor who works for hugs. LOL
GHOST: Thank you for sharing this with me… Talked to our girl this morning. Just wanted to hear her voice and give her strength. But in truth she always has been my strength. No matter what has been done to me, she has always been my strength to endure, to survive, to push on, and to win. I know I can’t say these things out for others to hear or read but it is the truth… I’m working on my legal stuff this week preparing things to attack soon.
EPD: I’m so glad you are moving forward with your legal preparations. [Note: Legal challenge of two illegal life sentences in Alabama 1983 – See Ch. 16]
GHOST: Did she tell you that we had an old motor home that kept breaking down in the most remote places and that we had to fix it in the rain or in snow? Or that when we were in the Canadian Rockies it was snowing terribly and there was no road and no gas station anywhere and we were pulling her car, so we had to take the car off. She tried following me and I slung mud all over her and buried her and the car in mud and snow!! LOL And she and I tried off-roading in a motor home LOL and ran out of gas and I had to walk in the snow for hours; left her and the wolves to find gas!
EPD: Now, I’m laughing out loud! Oh Lord! Cat deserves a gold medal for patience with you! No, she didn’t mention the motor home at all or what the heck you were doing up there in the first place. She mostly told of driving back 4,300 miles alone with the wolves! There is definitely a huge story yet to be told… You two have amazing daring do!
GHOST: Hey Cat crawled up under the motor home with me in the mud and helped change the spark plugs! Oh, and don’t forget to ask her about the fox that was a mommy and came to us needing food. She was beautiful. This was in the rez just north of Hazelton, B.C. And ask her about all the wild horses, sheep, elk and all we saw camping out in the wilderness, in such remote places that none of the animals were scared or leery of us. Yeah it was a journey. Be sure to ask her about the beautiful lakes, mountains we saw.
EPD: Yes, I see it all through your eyes… and I know Spirit led you there, no matter what. This was something you desperately needed to do and I’m so glad you can carry these beautiful memories always.
GHOST: I got wind that I was wanted for something later after I had already begun my journey. Remember this, no warrant was issued until In May 1995. An APB (All Points Bulletin) and a BOLO (Be on the look out) were issued in May. I was warned in Idaho by a deputy sheriff and the sheriff that the Feds were trying to say I was involved in the Oklahoma City bombing. Yes, they even put this in the newspapers in Florida. They listed me as John Doe #3.
It was an elaborate way to get everyone to turn against me. It back fired on them though. But yes, I knew before hand they would try something. I told others they would; the spirits told me they would put me away for a long time till no one would even know me any more! I asked those I thought would be my friends to look out for Cat and help her when this happened. None actually believed this would happen, but the ones I thought would be my friends turned out not to be. They wanted Cat out of the picture; they had motives of their own. Figured they could make a lot off of me. Boy, were they wrong.
EPD: Now in hindsight I am just glad you had a chance to make that trip and enjoy true wilderness freedom for a little while. I remember reading in some of your legal papers that Cat owned the motor home, but she didn’t mention how she acquired it or driving it back home. So what became of it? Did she have to leave it in Fairbanks?
GHOST: Cat bought the motor home from the money I won from the casinos. Before I won the jackpot that had to be reported to the IRS, I had won more than $15,000 in one day as we came back from the mine. Then we also made a good profit at a flea market down below mom’s each day for 2 days selling crafts and crystals. We had put out lots of flyers and had to have Mom, Greg, Aunt Hazel, my step dad, nieces and nephews help us at the flea market that weekend. So we made a lot of money that weekend.
As soon as we got back to Florida, I spotted the motor home at the dealership and made the deal for it. It was a small Winnebago, about 17 years old. Cat paid cash for it. It needed a lot of work and my step dad helped me with that. We planned to use it for our business travels around the country to pow wows and psychic shows.
EPD: Was your plan to return to the little house in the country that Cat spoke about as being a happy place for you all?
GHOST: I had planned on building Cat and me a home after we made enough so I could buy some land for us so that we could live in peace and I planned to build the medicine wheel and inipi areas.
EPD: What became of the truck you loved?
GHOST: The green wolf truck blew the engine in it. I was planning to fix it after we got back home, but I was arrested. Cat had to sell it to survive. She had to sell the motor home in Alaska; that man beat her out the money and she did not get near what he said he would pay. Eventually she couldn’t make the payments on her car so she let it go and bought another old truck and later a van to continue selling crafts at pow wows and such to survive!
EPD: I do not believe Spirit is finished with your stories yet. Cat told me that at one of your gatherings for psychics, she received a free reading and the person told her she would write a book in her future. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but long ago I went to see the psychic, Bobby Drinnon. He told me there would be two Indians in my future. I finished my mission with one, but a lot remains to be seen with the second. I’m keeping my eye on the Red Stick even though I really have no clue what I can do.
GHOST: Just know that Spirit does everything for a reason. Spirit truly blessed me when he put both you and Jack in my path and life. Thank you for being you!
~~~
EPD TO CAT: Forgot to mention, Ghost said to ask you about the time he saved you from the Grizzly bear… did you get upset because you thought he was trying to kill it for its claws or something?
CAT: Well, he thinks he saved me from the bear, guess he thought I was gonna go run up and give the bear a hug. lol! I just wanted to toss him a banana. The bear ran away when I tossed it to him…wonder if he ever came back for it. Do bears even like bananas? lol Oh, Ghost wouldn’t hurt that bear, he won’t even hurt a bug.
I remember a little about the problem they were having in British Columbia. We visited that tribal place. Ghost visited with them; me being shy I wondered off walking around enjoying the nature checking things out watching little Canadian Indian kids play…thought what it would be like to have a little Ghost Dancer running around someday. I was fascinated with Canada. It was awesome when we traveled the nature dirt road route. The stores were like little old cabin stores run by the Canadian Indians. Didn’t have a lot in the stores. They looked poor but happy. This was out in the middle of nowhere. You would hope to make it to the next gas station. Good to take an extra can of gas.
In Canada I was amazed how tame the wild moose and deer were there. Oh I saw lots of wild moose on the side of the road. Ghost would say look they are not scared and the Moose know… lol! They were protected in that area and were not allowed to be hunted is what Ghost told me. Ghost went and laid down in the tall grass one night and came back told me how a deer came up to him. He lay there very still. It was a magical time traveling thru Canada. Even though we ran out of gas and I ended up with a busted windshield taking the nature route. I liked it in Canada; I thought the people were so nice there.
Ghost and I stopped at a store in town. I was needing help so I yelled out “Mam, Mam” could you help me find something? She gave me and Ghost a funny look and I didn’t know what I had said wrong. She knew I didn’t know, she said “Did you know you called me “lady of the night?” That’s what “Mam” means. I said I was sorry, but she knew we were not from there. I was amazed cause back home we say mam and sir all the time. I never forgot that.
The water there was the color of turquoise. I stopped there and parked in the road on my way back thru (without Ghost) in the middle of nowhere; got out walked the wolves… that should tell you there was no traffic. I was out there all alone in this wilderness with the wolves. I remembered my friends asked me to bring them back souvenirs I thought about them even though I was still devastated that Ghost was arrested. I picked up some pretty rocks size of a golf ball. I cried some while picking them up feeling lost without Ghost. I was bringing them a piece of Canada for souvenirs. Oh and they did let me thru the border with the rocks.
~~~
Feb 3, 2015
GHOST: I feel Cat’s pain, it isn’t just for me it is for her too. No one seems to hear her or sees her as she tries to express how she feels. She feels the world is blocking her because of all the badness that is everywhere. The strands of the web have her entrapped in the gloom of the future which she is uncertain of.
Please share this with Cat
For Those Who Worry
In darkness I still see the light of love which shines from the heart;
No bars, no fence, no guard, no pain, can stop the freedom of love,
I’m free in my mind and heart and always will be.
I’m a spirit which many cannot see or understand.
But the light of love that is in me shines brighter than the sun.
I am always one with everything – my mind, my spirit is stronger than any doubt of the future.
I live each day as maybe my last, each day is precious to me, the future will be as it will be.
I don’t worry because I’m just me! Maybe one day they will see!
Two Kindred Souls
Your kindred soul needs to feel secure and accepted and better understood.
Her life has seen things that come from only truly feeling alone.
Inside, her mind has fears that only a true loving heart will heal
Flying in thoughts of darkness, her spirit soars above and beyond, yet it touches home.
What she wishes to say but can only say when she is alone.
Talking words of sorrows, it strikes deep to the bone
Listen kindred spirit for the calling that you hear from someone who is very near,
Who loves you and understands and always gives you room.
You must open your heart to those around you, so just like a flower you can truly bloom.
That which you are missing will come forth. Your life will be filled with so much joy!
In early 1995 word got to me that many of the Sun Dance chiefs, elders and teachers in Canada had been murdered by the authorities in Canada. They had planted explosives on the Sun Dance grounds and sacred ceremonial grounds so that when the Native peoples came to do ceremonies they would set off the explosives. I had friends that lived up there and word came to me that they needed someone to help teach the ancient ceremonies and traditional Sun Dance ceremonies including singing the songs. I was asked to come as soon as I could. My parole officer said I could go, so I went. It was a journey that was a destiny as well. We left Florida on April 5th or sixth and I was arrested on May 11th, 1995 so our trip was a little more than a month.
Cat and I took a round-about route to get there. We needed to make money to help pay for the trip. As was usual with us, we always found ways to sell things along the way. Plus I could always make extra money reading people and trying to give them the best advice to help them in their paths. First we traveled to my mom’s then on to Arkansas where we stayed and mined for crystals, and I read several people each day. This was making money to pay for travel expenses.
As anyone knows driving an RV, they don’t get good gas mileage especially if you are pulling another vehicle behind it. After we left Arkansas we traveled to Oklahoma to the different rezs where I have relatives, friends, spiritual leaders and elders. I talked to them about what I was fixing to go do. The elders thanked me for doing this but also cautioned that forces would not be happy about it. Some in government and corporation money people had other plans and I would be going against that.
Spiritual people are harder to defeat than those that don’t have the faith and spiritual strength to withstand persecution, hardships etc. My mentors told me that I must follow my calling and do what is right. But it would come with a cost. We left Oklahoma and went on to Arizona where I met with other spiritual leaders and friends. They advised me basically the same way.
We traveled with three of the wolves having left the pups with my brother Greg, my sister Teresa and some of our friends. We kept the adults and Pejuta, the white one who was born two days before any of the others. In Lakota, Pejuta means medicine. These were all the pups that had been conceived during our day at the Harper ranch in November, 1994 while we were delivering the sacred buffalo stone crystal to Miracle, the sacred white buffalo calf. During the ceremony Montaseetha (Morning star) came into season and Shungamanitou wakan (wolf) bred her. Pejuta was a lot bigger than the other wolf pups and he would become even bigger than his parents before he was even 6 months old.
Anyway these are the ones that stayed with us and traveled with us. We made our way to the Yakama rez in Washington state then on to Idaho and the rez at Coeur d’Elene, just outside the town of the same name and spent some time there. Each place we stopped we bartered, sold and traded. Trading goods is always fun and helps all parties get things they want or have need of. It also opens up doors to new friendships and ventures in learning more.
From Idaho we drove on into British Columbia crossing the border at a place called East Port on May 1st 1995. I remember this because they said, “Happy birthday tomorrow.” We entered Canada legally; naturally we were screened and they ran a check on us. We were cleared with no problems and allowed to enter with travel permits for 6 months. I was instructed by the border agents, roughly the equivalent of the FBI in the U.S. to stay out of the tribal politics.
We first set up in Cranbrook and stayed there for several days fishing and letting the wolves enjoy the freedom of the Moiye rivers – the big Moiye and the little Moiye – where herds of elk walked everywhere and had no fear of us. We then moved further north to Radium Springs. This was a beautiful place and we camped out there for about three days to enjoy all the wonders of the wilderness and the hot springs also, then continued on with our journey northward.
When we arrived at Hazelton, we stopped at the restaurant just on this side of the river, with the rez being just on the other side. This was a tribal restaurant with members working there. I had a good conversation with a couple of the young men and women and they started making phone calls. Cat and I then drove over the small bridge to enter the rez and went to the tribal office as proper protocol of tradition requires and introduced us as coming in response to being asked. While I was inside the tribal office, Cat stayed outside at the RV with the wolves. Tribal members came over checking out the RV and the wolves and Cat too. The people were curious; they had never met anyone from Florida much less Natives from the Southeast. And yeah they were really interested in the wolves too.
The tribal chairman was not there that day. He was in a meeting with other leaders from the other rezs about what was going on. We were given a place to park and set up. Everyone was excited because I would be teaching the Sun Dance ceremony and songs and Inipi ceremony and songs. I had brought with me copies of the songs and their translations so that they could read and study them. While Cat set up the campsite and gave the wolves some much needed play time, I went with others to the sacred grounds.
We first checked the ground to make sure no charges had been set and no cameras were setup anywhere for surveillance of us doing anything. I was told that no more explosions had happened since the call had gone out to me. They had lost all of their spiritual leaders so they figured the government wasn’t worrying about them now but I wanted to be sure that nothing like this happened again. So I asked them to gather volunteers for patrol duties to watch the grounds and watch for anyone who does not belong here.
We began teaching that night, working with all these people to help bring back the teachings and songs and ceremonies which were taken from them by those who were in power and eliminating all the ones who knew how to teach and conduct these things. I was always taught to share knowledge and not hold it to myself. This allows others to step up and begin teaching as well but many in the old customs didn’t share their knowledge and teachings. They believed this gave them power. I don’t believe in doing it that way. Knowledge is power but sharing power helps share Beauty and Love and helps others spread these teachings so it is never in danger of being lost again. So many ancient teachings have been lost due to governments destroying, yes, murdering the spiritual teachers, leaders, and elders.
So it is important to pass and share all you can to others. This is what Spirit instructed me to do and so did a few of my spiritual teachers who shared their knowledge with me. We spent every day teaching and sharing knowledge with all who wanted to come and learn. When we left to move on we were asked to stay and live there but we graciously declined and thanked them for the offer.
We traveled further north thru the Canadian Rockies, Yukon territory and into Whitehorse where we stayed a few days resting. Several times on this journey we ran out of gas due to no gas stations, nope these weren’t roads as you would know them. These were mostly logging trails for log trucks or skidders. Each time I would have to leave, taking plastic cans on a stick walking in deep snow and it 20-30 below zero in these extremely high altitudes to find somewhere to get some gas. Several times it was provided by loggers or log truck drivers to help us out.
While in Whitehorse I kept feeling suspicious of folks like the cops were watching me. This was not being paranoid. I have learned to trust my instincts and intuitions. Later I learned that I was suspected as being John Doe # 3 of the Oklahoma City Bombing. This didn’t even make sense, we were never in Oklahoma City! But I know from experience that there are those in power who will say and do anything to get what they want.
Since we were so close to the border we decided to go check out Alaska and visit some tribes there. When we got to the border crossing all heck broke loose! Men with guns came from everywhere pointing guns at us both. Cat was ordered to gather the wolves and leash them and to exit the RV. I was to remain motionless with all guns on me. I was told not to even twitch or I would be shot immediately. I knew we had done nothing wrong so I just remained calm but did not let my guard down either. Eventually they ordered me to stand up and exit the RV and get down on my knees in the snow. I did as told and asked what they were doing this for. They pushed me down on the snow, handcuffed and leg shackled me. Then I was told I was being arrested for the warrant of being a suspect in the Oklahoma City bombing. At no time then or even the next few days was there ever any mention of any warrants for any bank robberies or money laundering.
I was taken From Alcano, Alaska to Tok, Alaska first. Then suddenly they transferred me to Delta, Alaska. They detained Cat at the border, they said until I was placed in a jail cell in Tok. But they lied to her. They told Cat she could visit me there. But in fact they took me all the way to Fairbanks, more than 200 miles and for a while she didn’t know where I was.
Journeys of the Spirit 