Here’s What I Think About

Lights In the Distance. . .

Walks’ Outdate – 82 Days and Counting

By Steven Maisenbacher

Walks On The Grass

Someone once asked me, “So Walks, what are you going to do when you get out?” Man, what kind of question is that? I want to do everything I have been planning! I want to go back to school in order to get certified to counsel, but I really don’t know how much I will have to do or what it will take. I know my credentials are impeccable if you’re going on life experience but somehow I think there is more to it than just going out and applying for jobs as a substance abuse specialist or counselor or a juvenile counselor. I’ve got a feeling I’m going to be spending a lot of time in school or on the computer studying “on-line.” We will see. When I get home I’ll go out to the college where they will think I’m someone’s grampa.

I also want to get a new line of “rocks on a string” started. I want to do some religious jewelry like super nice rosary’s and nice necklaces with various crosses or religious pendants. I think there would be a market for them. So on that I will see as well. I was just telling “Sings Many Songs” on the phone earlier that I had an idea to put up flyers wherever they had a bulletin board, like in grocery stores, laundromats and such offering custom made birthstone jewelry and other jewelry. Heck, I might even try selling online in order to help me obtain a used car, maybe offer custom made one of a kind pieces of jewelry for every donation or a pair of free pearl earrings with every purchase over $20.00. Sounds like a pretty good idea to me, but I don’t know. I’ve been away for so long that I have no idea how the world works now.

And… I want to do all of these things:

I wanna go swimming and do a cannon ball. I know it sounds silly but hey, I wanna so I will and I know just the places to do it.

I wanna maybe join a band or just have some friends to jam with, I miss the music. I’m sure I could go to a church and sing my way into a choir or a gospel band but it’s not the same thing as good rockin’ music. Man, I’m gonna be in big boy heaven when I get that!

I know I want to go out somewhere for a meal and I long to hear some nice person ask, “May I take my order?”

I want a deep dish pizza with extra cheese, black olives, sausage and pepperoni.

I want an ice-cold glass of iced tea, no sugar, and I want to have more if I want more.

I want to be able to go to the Goodwill thrift store and buy clothes – anything but gray or khaki. lol.

I want to just be able to walk outside or sit outside and daydream, in freedom, without someone breathing down my neck to get inside or whatever.

I want to go to the library and get a library card, check out books, or listen to a book on tapes. I guess they are audio books, I’ve never done that, and I do so love a good story.

I want to go to the park and feed the ducks and maybe have a picnic there, even if it’s by myself.

I also think about taking my pipe to the park and having a pipe ceremony. I know I can do a pipe ceremony almost anywhere, but I like the idea of having one outside where the ancestors may have roamed. That would be amazing to me.

I want to see animals and maybe pet a dog or a cat. I love animals but outside of the occasional scruffy prison cat or the dope-sniffing K-9’s they bring in here, I never see one in real life.

One thing I think I will enjoy most of all is just the freedom to do what I want when I want to. If I want leftover pizza at 3am, I would be able to go to the refrigerator and have it.

And another thing, I wanna just sit with the door open, knowing I’m not being locked away from the world anymore unless I choose to close and lock the door.

If I want to walk around my own house in my boxers, I don’t want to have to feel uncomfortable for having done so.

So there it is, just a few things I think about that you probably take for granted; these things may sound silly to you but to me they mean freedom…

Published by Edna Peirce Dixon

I am an elder in my 9th decade. I have lived an ordinary life, I’ve done all the ordinary and expected things, went to school, got married, raised a family, tried to be a good person. Throughout this life I have also been a seeker, an outsider by nature, always looking through cracks in the fences of life, questioning, challenging, learning, trying to make sense of the world and its conventions. Then in my golden years, as I sought to find meaning in my existence, some unexpected things happened and I’ve since learned it took a lifetime to prepare me for the challenge to come. My journey – indeed my calling - led me to come to know a remarkable man who happened to be an inmate in federal prison. Nothing could have been more foreign to my personal experience. GHOST DANCER Communicating daily for nearly nine years I had the opportunity to walk many paths with Ghost discussing our thoughts on many common interests with candor and respect. With enormous generosity Ghost has allowed me to share his wisdom and knowledge of his Native American heritage on Journeys of the Spirit. Over time, Ghost gradually revealed his life story in small bits, like scrambled pieces of some gigantic puzzle. Now, after spending more than 40 years in prison, Ghost Dancer is at last free and ready to tell his amazing personal story. As the saying goes, “you can’t make this stuff up” and as his friend and editor I can say this is a story so big that even after working with him for nearly nine years, I continue to be astonished as he shares new details my mind simply could never imagine. From the very first chapter, Ghost leads us on his journey and invites us to walk with him on his Nene Cate (Red Road). From the day he was born, a happy, loving gifted child, he endured heartbreaking sorrows, betrayals and exploitations. Through it all, Ghost fought a system determined to destroy him by any means, as he struggled to remain true to his calling. Through Ghost Dancer I also met and came to know Walks On The Grass, another federal prisoner whose story is also compelling even though very different. In Journeys of the Spirit, Walks has shared his decades-long journey from deep addiction to wholeness in LONG ROAD HOME and shared other bits of his story in ALONG THE WAY. Now as he approaches his August release into this crazy world of 2022 Walks shares his the thoughts and misgivings as he counts down to the big day in LIGHTS IN THE DISTANCE.

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