Hit the Gas

Step Into the Light

Journal Entry 19 – January 20, 2023

Well fans and music lovers what a week of fun and frolic I have had. Let’s see, since I last talked to you I have done nothing but study. Like I said last week, I’m so grateful for the courtesy and true caring shown by the staff and this week I can give more examples.

Using my computer was still so new to me that I got confused and I had to ask for tutoring to catch up on my online assignments. All assigned work must be turned in online through Lincoln Land’s own site called “Canvas” and within that, each student has their own site and email address.

This week, Ms. E. of Accessibility Services at Lincoln Land went way out of her way to help me understand how the computer works and to navigate the program I must use for all assigned class work. She will continue to let me work in her office so she can give me the help I need until I’m all caught up and my skills are strong enough for me to keep up.

I also have a personal email – stevenwalks07@gmail.com – and if you wish, feel free to contact me at any time. I’m free and open for discussion on anything that I say here. I promise you I say only what I believe be the truth to the best of my understanding at the time.  if I’m wrong I’ll readily tell you I was wrong.

Now, this is what I have found out: The truth CAN help you! Simple enough statement, five words, but what you don’t see is what lies underneath, that is, having to relearn your way of thinking in order to ask for help rather than fail. Seems like not everybody can do that. I know, I was one of them but I’ve learned to ask and I’ve learned to accept graciously and humbly.

Let me tell you something. When I stepped out of prison I thought I had all the answers to all the questions and all the solutions to all the problems that I would encounter in this free world. That is really what I thought, but I was wrong. You rapidly learn when you have no choice, just as you will swim if you have no choice; it’s in our makeup to survive. So I chose to ask for the help that I’m getting now and I choose to continue to fight to get it down. I have found since being free that you have to struggle every day in order to keep that day in line. You have to do all the things that need to be done for yourself, by yourself.

Now that’s not necessarily everything of course, we all have things provided for us on a daily basis that we need to use or enjoy … and usually those providers are who? What? Oh! Our women! Bingo! right answer. It’s not that dudes won’t help people because of course they do, but it just seems to me, from my viewpoint, the women who are in my life or close to my heart or that I see here, they’re all helping people. They help themselves, their families and their loved ones, even people they don’t know. They may know a little bit about them or not, but if you’re able to ask or they perceive the need in you for assistance, heck, most of the time you don’t even have to ask.

This is Amber, the campus dog with her partner on the campus police. I like this little dog and talk to her all the time. When she sees me she will come and her little butt starts wiggling and her tail wagging. She makes me feel happy. So, everybody stay safe, stay loved, stay your wonderful selves.

Just like I am, Walks On The Grass, I Will Never Surrender.

Long Road Home by Steven Maisenbacher