A Grocery Store

Lights In the Distance. . .

Walks’ Outdate – 61 Days and Counting

By Steven Maisenbacher

Walks On The Grass


And I’ve got 3 more on deck!  Yes, I hot-wired them and smuggled them right out of the chow hall in my smuggle buggy. (My bad) See, for whatever reason they have actually seen fit to give us oranges as the fruit alternative at meals where there is a desert on the menu. Amazing, and I have totally taken the pleasure out for them insisting on cutting the oranges in half. I’m saying it’s to save me time in peeling it; I can just do the push on it, it flips inside out and low and behold there is the sweet delectable meat all oozing with juice, dripping all on my hands and down my arms, uhhhggggggggg!!! This was sooo good.

It has been more than 5 years since I had an orange!

Just think about that for a minute – 5 years without one bit of citrus fruit in your diet! I eat pill form vitamin C tabs every morning and evening, but it just ain’t the same.  I think that I’m gonna have to be real honest here; I need to tell ya, at this stage in life and after all these years, if I could have my choice (and I will very soon) between a gentleman’s club with all sorts of pretty scantily clad women dancing and prancing around for the tips OR a trip to the grocery store with a nice crisp $50.00 dollar bill, well, I’m sorry, it’s me on the way to Publix, or Kroger, Save-On, Food Lion or Piggly Wiggly, or wherever they got all the fruits and veggies on display! OMG, that’s almost erotic to me – all the oranges, grapefruits, strawberries, the bananas and the cherries, and grapes – Oh Man, can’t forget the grapes, and I don’t even wanna think about the frozen foods isle.

See that’s where I will be able to get the stuff I can just toss in the microwave or oven, heat and eat. Geeminy, wish I could convey to you how deeply I long for real food, whatever I want to eat. I have definitely been starved for real food! I remember pizza rolls, those little things ya heat ‘em and eat ‘em; I used to smash a gang of em watching a movie.  I remember the taste of broccoli, fresh and green; rinse it off and sling some ranch on it, man and cauliflower! I love and long for the day when I can get these things again. And all this dreaming is sparked by the taste of a stolen from the chow hall orange. And I got 3 more. Hehehe, feels like a big deal to me. Like you hadn’t had an orange in 5 years then all of a sudden, “wham” score! It’s crazy cuz I’m sitting here writing this where I can see my cell door, wanna be dang sure no one goes in there and relieves me of my prize.  No siree, gotta ensure that I get the opportunity to devour them all by myself, and I know just what else too… if they had em today, then maybe they will have ‘em tomorrow… Maybe, just maybe, a grapefruit! Oh, I’d be in bliss.

There are a few other food tastes that I have truly missed over the last 20 or so years – a hot ham and cheddar sandwich or real bacon. I got real bacon when my brother Mike and his wife, Karen came to visit me in the form of a bacon cheeseburger and damn it was so delicious! Even tho it was probably a decade old from a vending machine, I sang praises in their names for being instrumental in getting it for me. Smile.

Another delight I have thought about at least a thousand times, my sister-in-law, Bab’s, lasagna. Let me tell ya, Bab’s lasagna is by far hands down the best I have ever tasted.  I had some a couple times decades ago and I can still remember clearly and distinctly how delicious it was and probably still is. I have on occasion while in my ignorance and captivity thought to myself, man, some of Bab’s lasagna would be enough to make me a content person at this very moment!

Sadly enough, that dream never came to pass all these decades, so I have had to do with what I could concoct myself out of what I could steal from the chow hall, the stuff they sell us in the store or whatever can be scraped together by combining things we can obtain by other means like a chow hall, store or kitchen worker looking to make a little side hustle money off whatever they can get their little mitts on. lol.

It’s funny to think that something most people take for granted is something that I dream for, long for, even plan for. When you have to do without or when you are truly hungry, the only cure is plenty, and the only place I know of where I will be able to find solace or satisfaction is only days away from my grasp, that’s amazing! See, once I get out I will be able to walk in and buy one or 10, no limit, no one to tell me I can’t have one or no one to say hey, put it back – well at least as long as I’m paying for it. Smile. Yeppers, one thing on my mind, one thing that can cure my desire, my absolute want and need – a grocery store.

I’m gonna need some napkins, lots and lots of napkins…

Be sure to check out Walks’ Footpan Foodz in Along the Way for some of his creative culinary delights. ed.

Published by Edna Peirce Dixon

I am an elder well into my eighties. I have lived an ordinary life doing all the ordinary things expected of women of my generation. But through it all, I have also been a seeker, an outsider by nature, always looking through cracks in the fences of life, questioning, challenging, learning, trying to make sense of the world and its conventions. A registered nurse by profession, I have long had a strong interest in writing and genealogy with a special interest in Southeastern Creek Indian history and culture. In my golden years, just when I was thinking “retirement,” some unexpected things happened that led me down a totally unfamiliar path. I’ve since learned it took a lifetime of experiences to prepare me for the challenges to come. My journey – indeed my calling – led me to a remarkable man, a Mvskoke & Ani-yun-wiya known as Ghost Dancer, hidden away for decades behind bars in state and federal prisons. Communicating daily by e-mail for the next nine years I had the opportunity to walk many paths with Ghost Dancer discussing many common interests with candor and respect. Most remarkable to me was Ghost’s absolute dedication to his spiritual leadership role within the Native population. With loving kindness at all times, Ghost shared many of his teachings, including lessons from within the sacred sweat lodge. A full index to Ghost's shared teachings can be found at GHOST DANCER'S SACRED PATH. Over time, Ghost gradually revealed his personal life story in small bits, like pieces of some gigantic puzzle. Now with his health a shambles, Ghost Dancer is at last free and has begun putting those pieces together; he wants the world to know the whole truth of his amazing personal journey in the chapters of his book in progress, ALL FOR THE RIGHT TO PRAY. As his friend and editor on JOURNEYS OF THE SPIRIT, I can say this is indeed a story so big that even after these many years, I continue to be astonished as Ghost reveals new details of his solitary walk on the Nene Cate (Red Road). From the day he was born, a happy, loving, gifted child, he felt a strong bond with his cultural heritage in a world where family loyalty was a sacred trust and Native roots were kept secret. As a result the callow youth endured many heartbreaking sorrows, betrayals and exploitations. As a young teen, Ghost heeded the call to learn from the great Native spiritual leaders gathered at Wounded Knee. The influence of the elders and spiritual leaders on his young mind was profound but the political conflicts of the moment ultimately cast this loyal young boy as a target of a system determined to destroy him by any means. For the next 40 years in and out of prison, Ghost would struggle to remain true to his calling both as a teacher and an activist fighting for the religious rights of Native Americans. (Note: Currently Ghost is focused on things he must do to regain his health and has put writing the final chapters about the the wrongful convictions that put him in federal prison for the past 28 years on hold. He still has dreams for the future so he will be back!) Ghost Dancer would later introduce me to Walks On The Grass, one of his spiritual brothers and another federal prisoner. Walks’ story on JOURNEYS OF THE SPIRIT is totally compelling, though very different. In LONG ROAD HOME, Walks has shared his decades-long spiritual journey from deep addiction to wholeness. He follows up with ALONG THE WAY and finally, LIGHTS IN THE DISTANCE as he prepares emotionally and mentally to transition to life outside after 37 years of incarceration.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: