Choosing Happiness

By Eric R. Dixon

I like waking up at Reflection Tree Art Farm and saying Hi to the neighbors

At this point in my life I don’t feel the need to be someone else. I do not need to pretend to be younger or smarter or wealthier than I am. I have lived an amazing and interesting life and I have built many wonderful memories. Having lost my wife with whom I would have blissfully spent the rest of my life, I could retreat into my shell.

There is a fear of moving forward that could close all doors. Fear of losing again, fear of pain that might happen blocks the doorway. Fear is a poison that I can choose whether to drink or not. I will not engage it. I will not drink that poison. I will take care of my fear and soothe it like a crying baby.

I will choose to be happy. Happiness is a state of mind. I can be and have been miserable in the most amazing places and full of joy in the worst. Unhappiness can create a terrible wall around you that separates you from what you most desire. Happiness is the key to the door of that wall. When you have that key you can swing the door open. With the door open you do not have to seek anything. It will seek you.

In loving memory of my beloved Aimee.

Happiness is what we both wanted for one another.

Published by Sings Many Songs

I'm Edna Peirce Dixon, an 80-something child of the great depression and WWII. Throughout my life I have been a seeker, an outsider, never quite belonging anywhere, still always looking through cracks in the fences of life, questioning, challenging, learning, trying to make sense of the world and its conventions. An R.N. by profession, I'm mostly a lifelong student with a love of writing and interests in history and genealogy. In my golden years some unexpected things happened that led me down unfamiliar paths with new challenges, opportunities and lessons to learn. This became the magic elixir that keeps me seeking, keeps me growing, keeps me alive.

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