Sings Alone

By Edna Peirce Dixon

September 30, 2022

Into this life, I was born and I will die. Always on the outside, looking through cracks in the fences of life. Never quite belonging, alone, yet always striving to understand and be understood. Wondering why the pieces never seem to fit. Sometimes wondering if I even possess a piece of this great shifting puzzle . . .

Only to be reminded in precious, unexpected moments that the pieces I hold are gifts beyond my understanding. Signposts along my path alert me to unseen vistas; quiet side paths beckon me to explore the mysterious unknown; to discover the lessons I’m here to learn.

Fleeting chance encounters challenge the discovery of new ways of seeing, feeling, experiencing, and expression; each illuminating the truths I am here to learn. Strangers offer respite from the journey. An insatiable curiosity compels me to take the risk, to discover what lies behind those eyes, to linger just a bit to discover what joys a few kind words can bring to fellow seekers.

Only by examining, feeling the depths of suffering in the human experience can I avoid the crass hypocrisy of self-righteousness. By honoring the struggles and triumphs of the ancestors and fellow travelers, I gain the humility to feel the peace of graceful acceptance, and the healing balm of gratitude.

I learn the lesson of balance by respecting the magnificent beauty and bounty, as well as the overwhelming extremes of power and violence, inherent in Nature. Again, I learn humility and gratitude for I am but a speck by comparison, and it is for me to know these contrasts lie also within the human heart. I discover that in striving to learn how to live with balance, grace, gratitude, and integrity I move closer to understanding my place in the scheme of things, and ultimately, the total belonging of Universal Love.

I am old now. Not the “old” that middle-aged people are just beginning to feel, but the old that treasures each hour, each lesson, each memory as precious gifts. I accept that death is a part of life and we are here to learn and grow as spiritual beings. I am still learning the lessons this life teaches, but look forward to discovering what lies beyond this earthly plane.

The lessons of life create a never-ending story that will unfold far beyond this sojourn on Earth. So when at last the shadows fall on the warm sunshine of my life, I shall turn my face to the stars, and sing alone in gratitude and anticipation, placing my trust in the divine mystery of the universe.

© Edna P Dixon, Sings Many Songs, September 2013, 2018, 2022

Published by Sings Many Songs

I'm Edna Peirce Dixon, an 80-something child of the great depression and WWII. Throughout my life I have been a seeker, an outsider, never quite belonging anywhere, still always looking through cracks in the fences of life, questioning, challenging, learning, trying to make sense of the world and its conventions. An R.N. by profession, I'm mostly a lifelong student with a love of writing and interests in history and genealogy. In my golden years some unexpected things happened that led me down unfamiliar paths with new challenges, opportunities and lessons to learn. This became the magic elixir that keeps me seeking, keeps me growing, keeps me alive.

2 thoughts on “Sings Alone

  1. These are both so very touching I’m amazed at the depth of emotion that you draw out of each sentence. You’re amazing. I’ve said it before I’ll say it again, my wonderful, wonderful Sings Many Songs, how I cherish the fact that you came into my life. I am Walks On The Grass and I Will Never Surrender.

    Liked by 1 person

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