Being Truthful

Lessons From the Sacred Inipi (3)

By Ghost Dancer

2020 – Just back from the lodge. We had a wonderful ceremony, Nice and hot-hot. Yes we must give all of ourselves so that all those we are praying for do not suffer. Today’s lesson was about being truthful to ourselves so we can always be truthful to everyone else. Many people will always find a way to blame their problems on someone else. It will always be because of so & so or they kept me from doing this or that. When we are truthful with ourselves we will see that our problems are always our own fault, no matter what. It is the choices we make that puts us in the positions we are in. It is these choices that hold us back from succeeding or achieving what we wish to. But it is a lot easier to play the blame game.

I’m in prison and I’m innocent of any and all of the charges that got me here. But it is my own fault for choosing  to stand out in front, make my voice heard for the injustices suffered by all Native people. I chose to voice my truth to the world and stand up for those who can’t stand up. I made a choice a long time ago. To follow my heart always. That was my choice. It wasn’t my mom’s choice. It wasn’t my dad’s. choice. It wasn’t any of my family’s choice. It was my choice. It was not forced on me. No one made me do it. I chose to follow the path. So I can’t blame anyone for what follows and comes with that choice.

No I don’t have to like my situation. I don’t have to stand by and let lies and bad things be placed on me that I did not do. I will fight for the truth of those things too. My nature is to disagree with authority. I’m hard headed and very independent. I was not a follower; I was a leader. I was born a true alpha. I accept that because it is true. I can’t change that. And I truly wouldn’t want to.

There always has been and always will be many folks who will never like me. I say what is on my mind and in my heart. Most folks don’t like to hear that. I never liked bullies and I will always have it in me to protect and help those who can’t help themselves. No matter the place or time. These are truths that I had to come to grips with. Everyone has truths within them, only you can be honest with yourself.

When we face our own truth it sets us free. Free from the worries, blames, anger and resentful heart that so many, many folks have. They can’t look in a mirror and say, “Hey you!  I love you!” Why would they hate themselves? Most people will say they hate something about themselves – how big of feet they have, their eyes, their weight, their teeth, whatever. But that truly isn’t hate. If you really hated any of those you would do something about it. I love me. No matter if I’m in a wheel chair now, I still love me because I know the real me. Not what people say about me. Or the labels people have put on me or even the lies that have been told about me. I love me because I know me. I’m honest with myself and about myself.

Yes I’ve made mistakes. That is all part of life. Will I continue making mistakes? I hope not but only time will tell. We do our best to live, survive and accomplish things to make our world and the world of others a better place. Yes we live in our own little worlds, but are you living in your truth? I’ve lived most of my life in other peoples’ worlds. Not a world I ever wanted to live in. But since I’m in it, I try my best to make the world better all around me. This isn’t easy, but I manage to do it. No, this world is still nowhere the way I would prefer it to be, but I do make it so I can smile and laugh every day, even when I’m in pain, and surrounded by hatred, and so much negativity.

I can do this because I live in truth. I had to accept the consequences for following the path I chose. And I can’t be mad at anyone but myself. I am the one who was speaking out, I was the one trying to change the world all around me on the outside for others. But there was a larger, more powerful force that didn’t like what I was saying and doing. So the truth is I angered them and here I am. 

Now, where are you? What is your truth? That is today’s lesson. Ghost

© Ghost Dancer 2020, 2021

Published by Edna Peirce Dixon

I am an elder in my 9th decade. I have lived an ordinary life, I’ve done all the ordinary and expected things, went to school, got married, raised a family, tried to be a good person. Throughout this life I have also been a seeker, an outsider by nature, always looking through cracks in the fences of life, questioning, challenging, learning, trying to make sense of the world and its conventions. Then in my golden years, as I sought to find meaning in my existence, some unexpected things happened and I’ve since learned it took a lifetime to prepare me for the challenge to come. My journey – indeed my calling - led me to come to know a remarkable man who happened to be an inmate in federal prison. Nothing could have been more foreign to my personal experience. GHOST DANCER Communicating daily for nearly nine years I had the opportunity to walk many paths with Ghost discussing our thoughts on many common interests with candor and respect. With enormous generosity Ghost has allowed me to share his wisdom and knowledge of his Native American heritage on Journeys of the Spirit. Over time, Ghost gradually revealed his life story in small bits, like scrambled pieces of some gigantic puzzle. Now, after spending more than 40 years in prison, Ghost Dancer is at last free and ready to tell his amazing personal story. As the saying goes, “you can’t make this stuff up” and as his friend and editor I can say this is a story so big that even after working with him for nearly nine years, I continue to be astonished as he shares new details my mind simply could never imagine. From the very first chapter, Ghost leads us on his journey and invites us to walk with him on his Nene Cate (Red Road). From the day he was born, a happy, loving gifted child, he endured heartbreaking sorrows, betrayals and exploitations. Through it all, Ghost fought a system determined to destroy him by any means, as he struggled to remain true to his calling. Through Ghost Dancer I also met and came to know Walks On The Grass, another federal prisoner whose story is also compelling even though very different. In Journeys of the Spirit, Walks has shared his decades-long journey from deep addiction to wholeness in LONG ROAD HOME and shared other bits of his story in ALONG THE WAY. Now as he approaches his August release into this crazy world of 2022 Walks shares his the thoughts and misgivings as he counts down to the big day in LIGHTS IN THE DISTANCE.

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